Welcome back to The Voice! Can you believe it's already ten seasons old? Our little show is growing up so fast.
Christina's back in her chair, meaning that Blake's boo Gwen won't be seen until later in the season (she's an advisor this cycle, along with Patti LaBelle, Tori Kelly, and whom/whatever we're calling Puff Daddy these days). But first: how awesome is the first round of Blind Auditions?! I was actually blown away by some of the performances, which I honestly didn't think was possible anymore, and the coaches jumping to their feet in praise just adds to the excitement. This group of 11 (including the two who don't even make it onto a team!) is already far more talented than the final Top 10 of that other show. And couldn't you just squee with delight every time Carson cheers with a family backstage? His head is still very much in this game, and it's adorable.
So, without further ado, here's the inaugural Rankling for Season 10:
-
Maddie Poppe
Maddie's a supper-cutie who likes to make music videos in her spare time, but being from Random Small Town, Iowa (senior class size: 22!) unfortunately probably means that she doesn't have the benefit of music class at school. That's a shame, because her dynamics and personality are on point, and she could so, so easily learn vocal control and scales with just a few lessons. It's adorable that Adam takes the criticism for her, and a good sign that Pharrell recognizes her potential. Maybe she'll be back, and if she is, she'd be smart to pick Christina, the queen of controlled, outrageous vocals.
Song: "Dogs Days Are Over"
Team: N/A -
Byran Bautista
Bryan's the singing Barclays Center usher who was here last season, but he's apparently improved since. (It really is a kindness that The Voice doesn't post losing audition videos.) His audition is still one of the night's weakest -- his pitch is all over the place, though his falsetto mildly makes up for it -- but the confidence of his performance convinces Christina to fight for him. He'll probably go home early, but at least his story has a happy ending for now.
Song: "The Hills"
Team: Christina -
Queen Stassi
"What I need is somebody...who can teach me vocal control and also maybe get me a guest spot on Broad City."
Song: "Show Me Love"
Team: N/A -
John Gilman
John lives in a log cabin without wifi, so obviously he thinks it's a good idea to wear a polka-dot button-up and sing an Elvis song, and honestly: he's not all wrong. His tone is deep and his rhythm is dead-on, but he could stand to work on his intonation and performance style. Pairing him with Adam (his only turn) will be interesting, but this kid is going to need to step up in order to keep up with Mr. Maroon.
Song: "Don't Be Cruel"
Team: Adam -
Abby Celso
Abby has a good, natural vibrato, and her tone is full, but, like Adam says, she could be much better. Still, Pharrell goes after her hard, and he generally has a great ear, so...cheers?
Song: "Should've Been Us"
Team: Pharrell -
Nick Hagelin
Don't let Nick's cute kid, Bash, fool you: this guy is definitely the archetype jerk of the boy band, complete with the sharp jawline and oversized ears. His falsetto is insanely impressive, but the fact that he chooses to sing one of Adam's songs in an admitted attempt to butter him up and then chooses Pharrell for purely opportunistic reasons ("As an artist, a relationship with the Quincy Jones of our generation is going to be the best thing for me") just make him look cunning in a cheap, unwelcoming way. Dude needs to at least play nice for a while; otherwise, he's not going to have any fans to count on when the real voting starts.
Song: "Lost Stars"
Team: Pharrell -
Mike Schiavo
This ginger from New Jersey has a great, soft tone and a decent natural rasp, but it's the energy he brings to the stage that really sells his coffee shop take on "Talking Body." It's bold to choose a Tove Lo song, but the risk pays off; Adam, Blake, and Pharrell all fight for him, leading to a line Pharrell must have been holding in for at least three seasons now: "Don't let yourself get marooned." Mike does, of course -- singing "She Will Be Loved" will convince a lot of people of a lot of sexual preferences to choose Adam -- but it feels like a good fit anyway.
Song: "Talking Body"
Team: Adam -
Caity Peters
Caity's special -- that's clear from her deep, rich vocal and four-chair turn -- but she's also maybe not that smart about playing The Voice game? Cases in point: her "Jealous" isn't the Nick Jonas version, AND she turns down Christina's proposal. ("I want to hold you hand to the finish line" would make a great wedding vow.) Still, she does pick Pharrell, and he generally knows what to do with great voices -- see also: Abby Celso, above.
Song: "Jealous"
Team: Pharrell -
Paxton Ingram
Paxton has Coolio hair and the early '90s reflective circular sunglasses to match, so it isn't until he casually mentions touring with Britney and J.Lo that I really paid attention. It helps that he sings one of my favorites, "Dancing On My Own," in a smooth R&B style, but the true artistry comes in the way he intones the lyric like he actually knows what he's singing about. He loses the rhythm of the song a bit in the overly arranged chorus, but finds it again midway through. It's early, but with his smile and vocals, he's definitely an early favorite for the title belt.
Song: "Dancing On My Own"
Team: Blake -
Alisan Porter
Sure, she's Curly Sue, and yes, her audition is awesome. But isn't it sort of enough that Alisan was once on an episode of The Golden Girls? How much awesome is one person allowed in life?
Song: "Blue Bayou"
Team: Christina -
Mary Sarah
I'm not going to mince words here: Mary Sarah's audition is legitimately the best I've ever seen, on any show. Her look is refreshingly modern (read: no showy cowboy boots), but her vocals are a straight-up throwback to the glory days of not just Dolly, but Patsy Cline, too. Each of these things on its own would be unremarkable, but the way she seamlessly updates the classic sound of classic country makes her a pure, natural force. She's smart to choose Blake, because he's a natural fit, but she doesn't need to pander to any one voting bloc. She's going to appeal to audiences across genres based on her presence alone, but if you want to get a head start on downloading, her album (featuring Dolly!) is still available.
Song: "Where The Boys Are"
Team: Blake