The Voice Battles Go Hard

You know what's awesome about The Voice (besides Carson, and his terrible, ill-fitting suits)? The show respects seasoned performers, even as it offers them coaching; there's an explicit acknowledgement each season that the people on stage are naturally no better or worse than their coaches (or, especially in the case of Diddy, their mentors). It's just that their time hasn't come yet, and whether it's been 15 or 35 years in the making is a matter of semantics; everyone is respected as long as they put in the work and are willing to fight for their spots.

Tamar and Shalyah exemplify that dynamic, and it's awesome to see diverse artists get their chance to shine. Sure, it all usually dissolves into a teenybopper convention by the time live voting starts, but for now, for the Battles and the Knockouts, we get to enjoy a whole range of skills and styles. That's pretty cool. But enough with the mushy stuff. Here's how the night's Battles Rankle, from nearly zero to almost hero:

1. Chelsea Gann vs. Kata Hay
   Song: "I'm The Only One"
   Team: Christina

   Here's the thing: Kata isn't a great singer, but her attitude and sass trick you into thinking she is anyway. Though Chelsea out-sings her, she never manages to out-perform her, which ultimately makes her (Chelsea) the more forgettable of the two. It's unfortunate, but that's how the cookie crumbles.

   Winner: Kata Hay

2. Jessica Crosbie vs. Nick Hagelin
   Song: "Electric Feel"
   Team: Pharrell

   It's said that anything can be a learning experience, and this Battle is a perfect example. For instance, did you know it's possible to sound like the love child of Vanilla Ice and Adam Levine but still have extremely stiff hips and a very cold shoulder? Because it definitely is, as Nick so perfectly demonstrates. Jessica, on the other hand, makes the most of what she can with her awkward partner, dancing around him in swaying, suggestive circles and subtlely out-singing him by showing her entire range (Nick sticks to his falsetto). It's not exactly the best showing for either of them, but one is a clear winner, while the other clearly needs a drink to loosen up. It's frustrating to watch Pharrell pick the wrong person, but at least Adam comes in with a surprise save.

   Winner: Nick Hagelin
   Steal: Jessica Crosbie to Team Adam

3. Justin Whisnant vs. Mary Sarah
   Song: "Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man"
   Team: Blake

   Honestly, I wish a Mississippi river could keep me apart from this battle, because all I understand is that there's a lyric that is somehow about both sex and alligators. While I realllly hope those two things are mutually exclusive, it ultimately doesn't matter. Justin and Mary harmonize well together, dueting instead of Battling, with equal skill and stage presence. While I would support them putting out an entire, Cracker Barrel-exclusive album with similar covers (are there more songs that use swamp animals to set the mood?), someone has to win; thankfully, Blake goes with the right choice.

   Winner: Mary Sarah

4. Natalie Yacovazzi vs. Nate Butler
   Song: "Hollow"
   Team: Adam

   Usually when coaches choose songs by the mentor, the only purpose of the selection is to ensure a royalty check (see also below, re: "Lady Marmalade"), but Tory Kelly's own "Hollow" actually works well as a battle song, in part because it's not a love song. Rather, it's a self-admitted cry for help and an act of giving up of control that lends itself well to multiple interpretations. Vocally, it's more in Natalie's pocket than Nate's, and he has to work extra-hard to make his voice fit into the range and melody of the piece; it contains him, while at the same time forcing him to display an impressive amount of control. Natalie learns to let go onstage, but it's too little, too late to make up for the fact that she should have started out much stronger in the first place.

   Winner: Nate Butler

5. Hannah Huston vs. Maya Smith
   Song: "Elastic Heart"
   Team: Pharrell

   "I see that she's dressed very conservatively and she just need to get up off that." - Diddy, about Hannah in rehearsals. Guess what? She does! Because when Sean "John" Combs tells you do break out of your polka dot jumpsuit-wearing comfort zone, that's just what you do. After all, it's a competition. There's just no room for bitchassness.

   Winner: Hannah Huston
   Steal: Maya Smith to Team Christina

6. Shalyah Fearing vs. Tamar Davis
   Song: "Lady Marmalade"
   Team: Christina

   Tamar and Shalyah are two sides of the same coin. Once is experienced, the other is green, but both are supremely talented. They Battle while still respecting each other (and, most importantly, Miss Patti), but Tamar is just so obviously more mature in her choices; where Shalyah tries to impress with intricate runs and belts, Tamar infuses her verses with personality and subtle theatrics. The winner is obvious, but that doesn't mean the loser is any less worthy a competitor.

   Winner: Tamar Davis
   Steal: Shalyah Fearing to Team Pharrell

The current team standings:

Team Blake: Paxton Ingram, Mary Sarah, Angie Keilhauer, Adam Wakefield, Peyton Parker, Brittany Kennell, Gina Castanzo, Trey O'Dell, Brittney Lawrence, Teresa Guidry, Jared Harder, Katie Basden

Team Christina : Bryan Bautista, Alisan Porter, Lacy Mandigo, Kristen Marie, Joe Maye, Daniel Passino, Tamar Davis, Ayanna Jahnee, Maya Smith

Team Pharrell: Abby Celso, Nick Hagelin, Caity Peters, Joe Vivona, Emily Keener, Jonathan Bach, Hannah Huston, Brian Nhira, Malik Heard, Moushumi, Jonathan Hutcherson, Shalyah Fearing

Team Adam: John Gilman, Mike Schiavo, Caroline Burns, Laith Al-Saadi, Kata Hay, Katherine Ho, Nate Butler, Ryan Quinn, Matt Tedder, Owen Danoff, Lily Green, Jessica Crosbie