Imagine you're Carson Daly. Life's not so bad, right? You've got a couple of Emmys, a couple of kids, and a steady gig that keeps you fairly well-clothed two television seasons a year. Sure, you're not as popular as you were during your TRL years, but you've got a nice thing going. ...Oh, what's that? You secretly hate your life, wonder how on Earth you came to be standing next to this guy with the high guitar, fringe, and general unkemptness? Well, sorry, buddy. The most I can do is commiserate with you about how quickly this season is going (election coverage is good for one thing!), and maybe also share this video of you dressed as your younger self, for Halloween, on national television. For what it's worth: I hope you bring back the nail polish.
On to the Rankling:
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Dana Harper/"You Give Me Something" vs. Karlee Metzger/"Invincible"
Neither Dana nor Karlee are Blake's usual cowboy-booted glass of whiskey, which is a shame, because it's easy to see how either of them would absolutely flourish under the direction of another coach (cough, Gwen, cough). Karlee's vocals are technically great and a little bit more self-confidence would probably boost her performance; the only thing really lacking is some proper staging. Dana fairs slightly better because her vibe -- that of the slow and easy Sunday morning -- speaks more to Blake's personal preferences. That's not to say she doesn't deserve to stay, but this whole thing was less of a Knockout and more of a gym-class popularity contest.
Winner: Dana Harper
Team: Blake -
Austin Allsup/"Breakdown" vs. Gabe Broussard/"It Will Rain"
As another Blake matchup, this too is more of a predetermined dismissal than a Knockout, since there's no way that Blake would ever put Austin in real danger. Still, it could have gone better. Austin hits all the notes in his extremely planned performance, with forced vocal inflections and measured delivery invoking just the tired country vibe he goes for. There's nothing particularly inspired in Gabe's cover either, but it does take considerable vocal ability to mimic Bruno so effectively, not to mention the unteachable je ne sais quoi that causes Miley to become a total fangirl. Considering he's just 15 years old, it's quite an accomplishment.
Winner: Austin Allsup
Team: Blake -
Darby Walker/"Shake It Out" vs. Maye Thomas/"Closer"
Miley's got a whole team of weirdos, so it makes sense for her to pit Darby and Maye against one another, but the downside is that they're both just thisclose to being pretty awesome. Darby delivers by making her vocals as big and round as Florence's original, and Maye follows by breaking from Tegan and Sara's original arrangement to throw in some huge, offbeat runs. They're both interesting in their own way, and they're both equally fun to watch even if they're not perfect. Darby wins this because someone has to but, imo, it just as easily could have gone the other way.
Winner: Darby Walker
Team: Miley -
Brendan Fletcher/"Soulshine" vs. Nolan Neal/"Love Is Your Name"
Let's just put this one out there in dating app terms: Nolan's the rough-around-the-edges, surprisingly fun short-term fling, and Brendan's the guy who ghosts after the first date, only to think it's charming when he texts out of the blue three months later because he "just thought of you." Go ahead and guess who Adam picks.
Winner: Brendan Fletcher
Team: Adam -
Aaron Gibson/"Die A Happy Man" vs. Josh Halverson/"Whiskey & You"
Something about Aaron reminds me of my forever love, otherwise known as Season 7's Chris Jamison, but Josh's appeal is easy to see too. The problem is that his specific vibe of hopeful melancholy is too easily relegated to something to hum along to while digging through the Halloween candy (oops?).
Winner: Aaron Gibson
Team: Miley
Steal: Josh back to Team Alicia -
Michael Sanchez/"Just The Two Of Us" vs. Sa'Rayah/"Ain't Nobody"
Michael's fun style lends itself hilariously well to "Just The Two Of Us," in a very specific way that actually makes it possible to forget all about Jaden Smith, but his brand of kitsch is no match for the massive talent that is Sa'Rayah. She works the stage and delivers her vocals with so little effort that she might as well just be walking down the street. But the most important factor is the huge amount of fun she's having. It's infectious, it's fabulous, and it leaves every one else in the dust.
Winner: Sa'Rayah
Team: Alicia
As always, honorable mention to the montaged Sophia Urista (Team Miley).
Here's how the teams stand ahead of the Lives:
Team Adam: Riley Elmore, Billy Gilman, Brendan Fletcher, Josh Gallagher, Simone Gundy
Team Blake: Jason Warrior, Sundance Head, Dana Harper, Austin Allsup, Courtney Harrell
Team Alicia: Christian Cuevas, Sa'Rayah, Wé McDonald, Josh Halverson, Kylie Rothfield
Team Miley: Ali Caldwell, Sophia Urista, Aaron Gibson, Darby Walker, Belle Jewel
