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Season 11 Of The Voice Comes In Like A(n Extremely Tame) Wrecking Ball

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Hell-oooo Voice-ers! Welcome to Season 11. It's got everything: Miley Cyrus with semi-normal hair and oversized flowers on oversized denim, Alicia Keys without makeup but a natural ethereal glow (does she use La Mer?), and Carson Daly, who remains so over life that he actually looks dead behind his baby blue eyes. It's going to be a great season, folks!

If you missed the sneak-peak episode that aired during the Olympics, don't worry, because nothing that aired apparently matters. Maybe we'll see Wé McDonald and Darby Walker at some point, but that day isn't today. Anyway, I digress. Here's the first Rankling for Season 11:

  1. Sundance Head

    Look, the guy's (legal!) name is Sundance Head and his entire beard is pulled together into one long braid. I plead the Fifth as far as opinions go. ["I vaguely remember the guy from S6 of Idol. You can't not remember that name." - ed.]

    Song: "I've Been Loving You Too Long"
    Team: Blake

  2. Maggie Renfroe

    Maggie seems as sweet as a Georgia peach, but that's not necessarily a compliment. Her transitions and runs are rough and unrefined, and her tone hasn't yet been fully developed; she spends her time speak-singing to get through her piece, when what she really just needs is time to put in some hard work. It's easy to see her back on Team Blake in a season or two, but for now, it's no dice.

    Song: "Lost Boy"
    Team: N/A

  3. Chris Cron

    Chris sounds like a congested '80s movie star, and his baby already has an emo haircut. So sorry, dude, but it's best that your 15 minutes of a career are left in Japan.

    Song: "Never Tear Us Apart"
    Team: N/A

  4. Christian Cuevas

    Christian's soulful, but otherwise unmemorable except as "that dude who sang Zach and Kelly's breakup song." Which isn't really a bad thing to be known for? Time (and votes) will tell, I suppose.

    Song: "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?"
    Team: Alicia

  5. Jason Warrior

    Poor, adorable Jason is so precise in his earnestness that he seems overly rehearsed, and all of his otherwise technically solid runs come off as dull due to their lack of spontaneous energy. Alicia claims to have felt like he was so lost in his performance that he wasn't thinking, but his problem is actually the opposite; the whole thing is overthought and overly forced. Unless he learns to relax, this could be a problem, so it will be interesting to see what he brings to the Battles.

    Song: "Living For The City"
    Team: Alicia

  6. Courtnie Ramirez

    Courtnie's young, cute, and quirky (she manages to make her tribal fabric headband look adorable by wearing it high on her crown, Wonder Woman-style), but she has no idea how to pace a performance, attacking her song and never letting up. That's not necessarily always a bad thing, and nuance is certainly a teachable skill, but her learning curve will need to be steep in order to keep up with the competition.

    Song: "Mamma Knows Best"
    Team: Miley

  7. Dave Moisan

    Dave is fine and all -- his falsetto is well-developed, and "Sex And Candy" is a excellent audition pick -- but when a guy repeatedly mentions that he's a medical device salesman, then shows up in stark white skinny jeans, you just know in your soul that there's something insufferable about him and that we're all going to rue the day he was born (probably in about three weeks, when he's still wearing the same pants, trying to take on Michael Jackson).

    Song: "Sex And Candy"
    Team: Alicia

  8. Ali Caldwell

    Ali's got a great voice, but her pronunciation could use some work, so it's a smart choice for her to sing an Ariana Grande song, since she (Ali) comes off well in the comparison. She performs, rather than sings, and commands the stage with authority and a grounded presence. She's solid enough to show off the previous tricks she picked up in her semi-pro career with her girl group Exhale, but seems like she needs a firm couch to bring out the best in her. TBD on if Coach Miley has that in her or not.

    Song: "Dangerous Woman"
    Team: Miley

  9. Riley Elmore

    To Blake's point, we already have Michael Bublé, but it can never hurt to have another, younger one waiting in the wings. Riley breaks up the monotony of song selections, and sounds pretty good while doing it. His age is given away by his poor breathing control, but Adam should easily be able to help him get that under control.

    Song: "The Way You Look Tonight"
    Team: Adam

  10. Gabe Broussard

    Something about Gabe is awkward (probably his age and all of his corny jokes), but once he's behind his guitar something happens that immediately transforms him. His performance is emotive, sweet, and comforting in a way that's usual for a kid that's otherwise so ordinary. His tone is fine, his runs are fine, but the whole seems to be more than the sum of its parts with this kid. Going with Blake is an excellent coaching choice, personality-wise, but it would be fun to see Gabe take on something that's not necessarily country too, like, dare I say…John Mayer-ish? It could be a disaster, but it could also be wonderful.

    Song: "Lonely Night In Georgia"
    Team: Blake

  11. Dana Harper

    Dana's the quiet MVP of this episode, sliding into first with her soulful reinterpretation of "Jealous" that's more playful than angsty. She's confident in her abilities, and doesn't try to show off with the arrangement so much as show her personality; her time is all the more well spent for it. Alicia's description of her vocals as "floating" feels correct, and it will be interesting to see what Blake does with her.

    Song: "Jealous"
    Team: Blake


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