All right, look, America. Here's where we're at: I'm writing this on Monday night, 3.5 episodes into Season 11 Blind Auditions -- leading into a presidential debate that features the most qualified candidate in history versus the literal animation of the color orange -- with some mediocre talent. But them's the breaks. By now, we've been through the wringer, and we know that it's always the performers with the middling auditions that really break out during the Battles. So I’m not here to question the chair turns. I'm here to question Dusty Rose.
What's that, you might ask? You're questioning a color Pantone 17-1718? Not quite. I'm questioning Adam Levine's baby naming skills. Because while Dusty may sound adorable for a cute grey-haired lady with a cane, it's not something a kindergartener is going to love. No wonder he's making questionable selections for his team.
Here's the Rankling!
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Zach Hicks
Unfortunately for Zach, he's an incredible case of The Voice concept actually working. While Blake probably would have chosen him based on appearance alone, Zach's thin voice and weak vocal means that he walks away without turning any chairs. That's how it's supposed to work, but it nearly never happens that way, so it's still slightly awkward when it does.
Song: "At This Moment"
Team: N/A -
Bindi Liebowitz
Bindi's performance is arranged to be sultry, but the best part is really when she leans into the raw rasp and natural vibrato of her vocals. It's not quite polished, but not quite amateur hour either; she needs a coach to guide her toward making smarter decisions and embracing the full-on swag that her outfit suggests she's capable of. Adam may or may not have the discipline to temper her more ambitious choices, but I get the sense that a natural competiveness will come out of her during the Blinds anyway.
Song: "Bust Your Windows"
Team: Adam -
Lane Mack
Lane Mack seems like he was born out of the mishegoss of Brooklyn gentrification, so of course he's going to torture us all season by being on Team Miley (despite his big hat and turquoise jewelry making him seem like a late Team Pharrell member). His tone is nice, but there's just no way this bearded hipster has ever truly felt the blues, because, if he had, he never would have gone with such a solidly pop arrangement.
Song: "Every Day I Have The Blues"
Team: Miley -
Elia Esparza
Elia's bold, choosing both to cover OG Selena completely in Spanish and to wear a complete leather crop top and flip skirt combo, so obviously I now love her. The problem, though, is that the performance, while technically good, feels a little bit like she was trapped on the day shift of a cruise ship, slowly powering through her song as she died inside. It's going to be a challenge for Adam to get her to loosen up, but if he can...well, that could be fun.
Song: "Como La Flor"
Team: Adam -
Karlee Metzger
Karlee's a case of a probable great singer choosing the wrong audition song. Her falsetto is pitchy and weak, and her arrangement mimics the inflections and intonations of the original, yet you can tell there's much more strength and range in her throat voice. Fortunately, the runs she adds on to the end of a few lyrics are solid enough to showcase her hidden range and it will be interesting to see what she can do after Miley coaches her into a more solid song selection and arrangement.
Song: "Samson"
Team: Miley -
Josh Halverson
Josh sings as though he has marble in his mouth, yet his tone manages to still be soothing, even with the slight rasp that pours out at the end of certain lyrics. He's clearly this season's WGWG (white guy with guitar) to beat, but the pairing of him and Alicia could mean that some interesting arrangements are in the future.
Song: "Forever Young"
Team: Alicia