Look, I'm not one to complain about Carson Daly (much), but do his navy suit and baby blue shirt seem a little too Today show for anyone else? Something about it is just far too full of early morning pep and it's weird to watch him conduct the awkward, pre-elimination interviews when it feels like he should be holding a cup of coffee or a glass of Hoda's wine instead of his mic. But I digress, because if Carson's too early-morning, Christina, her ridiculously low-cut satin mauve suit, and matching fur scarf-thing are definitely last call with Jayne Mansfield.
Since there's little more than a single elimination to announce, Coach Gwen stops by to put us out of our "Misery" by performing her new single, and definitely not just to make out with Blake backstage. But it's downhill from there, as Blake kisses Adam (Wakefield, not Levine) during his group performance; Season 7's Matt McAndrew gets upstaged by his own blowout; and Owen Danoff and Emily Keener -- two talented individuals who definitely deserve to be on the show -- find themselves singing for the much-maligned Twitter Instant Save. And because it's a primary night in America, the white dude obviously wins. Bye, Emily! You're super-talented and you forged your own path, so maybe if you work hard, you too can one day be accused of being too ambitious.
Here's the power Rankling, with flashback videos from the Battle round:
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Mary Sarah
Pro: She's country, she's cute, and she's got the whole staff of Boot Barn voting for her.
Con: Mary Sarah's whole thing was that she was a modern chick who sang retro songs, but she seems to have given up that angle in favor of becoming a wannabe Carrie Underwood. If she keeps going, she won't last long.Saved By: America
Team: Blake -
Bryan Bautista
Pro: Bryan's personality and vocals are both smooth.
Con: He's boring, and his voice isn't the Voice.Saved By: America
Team: Christina -
Paxton Ingram
Pro: He's got that whole maybe-young Bruno Mars thing going for him.
Con: He's young, underdeveloped, and trying too hard to make too big things happen when he should focus on the basics instead.Saved By: America
Team: Blake -
Owen Danoff
Pro: Owen's really, really, really talented.
Con: America just don't seem to be voting for him, and Adam's had to save him a bunch of times out of bro love.Saved By: Twitter
Team: Adam -
Laith Al-Saadi
Pro: He's the most talented musician in the competition.
Con: This isn't about the talent.Saved By: America
Team: Adam -
Daniel Passino
Pro: He's cute and mediocre.
Con: Nothing really, America digs that sort of thing.Saved By: America
Team: Pharrell -
Nick Hagelin
Pro: There isn't one.
Con: Everything? But mostly the chin hair.Saved By: America
Team: Christina -
Hannah Huston
Pro: Her vocals are really, really, really good.
Con: All of her background stories involve her talking about toddlers.Saved By: America
Team: Pharrell -
Shalyah Fearing
Pro: Shalyah has a real shot at a great career; she's young, she's talented, and she'd be easily molded by A&R.
Con: The longer she stays, the longer she misses out on high school (why aren't the producers providing a tutor?!).Saved By: America
Team: Adam -
Alisan Porter
Pro: Everyone loves a comeback hot mess kid.
Con: It's not like she was in The Parent Trap or something.Saved By: America
Team: Christina -
Adam Wakefield
Pro: He looks and sounds like every other white guy with a guitar.
Con: That's not really a good thing.Saved By: America
Team: Blake
Here's how the teams now stand:
Team Pharrell: Hannah Huston, Daniel Passino
Team Blake: Adam Wakefield, Mary Sarah, Paxton Ingram
Team Christina: Alisan Porter, Nick Hagelin, Bryan Bautista
Team Adam: Shalyah Fearing, Laith Al-Saadi, Owen Danoff
Are you sad to see Emily Keener go? Annoyed that the Instant Save is still a thing? Or are you just happy that the primary polls didn't close until after the show ends so not a single second of Carson time is preempted?