The Voice, Primary Edition

There's something that just feels right about having an elimination and primary night in one; it's a little bit cutthroat, a little bit depressing, and a whole lot amazing. Take, for instance, the above photo. Does it not look like something straight out of The Hunger Games? Can't you imagine the future a year from now, when President Trump regularly orders Carson Daly to interrupt primetime television to announce his personal list of Winners and Losers? And then the Losers will have to win an Instant Twitter Save in order not to be deported, regardless of their citizenship status (bye Owen!)? Carson, in his despair over being the real-world Caesar Flickerman, would probably revert to painting his nails black and wearing JNCO jeans, thus completing the circle of life.

But you know what won't exist under President Trump? Diverse teams of people standing around singing "Let Love Rule" (or Pharrell. Pharrell will probably just stop existing). Team Christina's terrible reggae remix of "Live And Let Die" will be called tremendous, though.

It's a good thing we have about a year to prepare for all of that. In the meantime, there's the Power Rankling of The Voice's Season 10 Top 10, accompanied with video from the Knockouts:

1. Daniel Passino

   Pro: Daniel has decent vocals and Disney-ready cheesy charm.
   Con: His face makes him look like a white guy who has an opinion on #LEMONADE.

   Saved By: Twitter
   Team: Pharrell

2. Mary Sarah

   Pro: She's the only country woman left, and she's spent the last few weeks re-finding her niche and getting back into her pocket.
   Con: Weeks spent on lackluster performances also mean weeks spent losing fans.

   Saved By: America
   Team: Blake

3. Hannah Huston

   Pro: She seems as sweet as humble pie.
   Con: The music industry would eat her alive.

   Saved By: America
   Team: Pharrell

4. Bryan Bautista

   Pro: He has a good work ethic? Christina thinks he's nice?
   Con: He's so friggin' cheesy and I can't wait for his stupid face not to be on my TV anymore.

   Saved By: America
   Team: Christina

5. Nick Hagelin

   Pro: He's well aware that he falls into the "jerk with a guitar" category and has finally started playing accordingly.
   Con: Still everything. He's just an unnecessary person, really.

   Saved By: America
   Team: Christina

6. Paxton Ingram

   Pro: He's found his niche praising Jesus, and the good Lord know no one has ever lost votes for that.
   Con: It's tbd if Blake really has the know-how to bring a non-country performer all the way to the finales.

   Saved By: America
   Team: Blake

7. Laith Al-Saadi

   Pro: Laith totally deserves this! Dude has worked hard for his fifteen minutes and he has the talent to back up the years he's spent performing in small bars.
   Con: n/a. It would actually be super-cool if he won.

   Saved By: America
   Team: Adam

8. Alisan Porter

   Pro: She's undeniably talented.
   Con: Her perfect act is wearing really, really thin.

   Saved By: America
   Team: Christina

9. Shalyah Fearing

   Pro: She has still-developing powerhouse vocals, and she's so sunny that she literally thinks it's a good idea to wear a marigold dress with a pleather mustard yellow jacket.
   Con: Don't we all hate when Adam's right?

   Saved By: America
   Team: Adam

10. Adam Wakefield

    Pro: I swear, this same dude won like three seasons ago...
    Con: He's so easily forgettable.

    Saved By: America
    Team: Blake

Here's how the teams now stand:

Team Pharrell: Hannah Huston, Daniel Passino

Team Blake: Adam Wakefield, Mary Sarah, Paxton Ingram

Team Christina: Alisan Porter, Nick Hagelin, Bryan Bautista

Team Adam: Shalyah Fearing, Laith Al-Saadi

How sad is it to see Owen go? Adam fought hard to keep him, and his heartbreak over losing a bro will never not be sad. But it's pretty surprising to see Team Christina sail through… who are these people voting for Bryan anyway? President Trump wants to know.