You really have to give it to Carson; he spent the early aughts closing down Times Square on a whim because his friends Nick Carter and Justin Timberlake decided to drop by his office for lunch, and he knows that nothing will ever be as professionally exciting as those sushi dates. Yet, he shows up for work anyway, day after day, for five years now, just like that one old guy in your office who knows he'll die the day after he retires.
He could care less that it's finale night/bagel breakfast Monday. Not even the promise of original songs -- "written" by the artists themselves! -- can ignite a spark behind his cold, distant eyes. He's dead inside, and we just have to appreciate that his very dedicated emotional corpse has agreed to grace us with his presence. He'll never smile, but he'll never stop never stopping his hosting duties. An introduction here, some set-up questions there…truly, he's the mascot The Voice deserves, but not necessarily the one it needs. There's just no pep, no excitement, and no mention of Christina's trashy geisha outfit left; he's seen it all, and now seems content to be the gentle guiding hand of experience steering this crazy freight train into the station.
So R.I.P., everyone's hope of learning the meaning behind Pharrell's PLANT hat. Some things, like the career aspirations of the competing artists, just aren't meant to be.
Here's the final Power Rankling for Season 10:
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Adam Wakefield
Adam's success continues to be a mystery to me, and I can only assume that the same people voting for him/buying his songs on iTunes are the same people plotting to Make America Great Again. These poor souls have no idea what the definition of the word "great" is, but just in case they're reading: it's not Adam. While he's impressively stayed humble and loyal to his one specific hat throughout the season, he hasn't improved since his original audition and the same problems that plagued him then are still woefully concerning. He's not original -- though maybe Blake should have pushed him out of his comfort zone, rather than encourage him to mimic Vince Gill -- and worse still, he mumbles. There's nothing to recommend him except for the fact that he performs country music, but I still hope he escapes that Big Machine contract Pharrell is trying to win him. No one deserves to be legally bound to the Borch.
Team: Blake
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Laith Al-Saadi
There's no doubt that Laith deserves this, but there's also no way America is ready to crown the guy who just brought Cream to primetime. Still, he's been an awesome treat this season, and should, at the very least, go on to log some studio hours with Maroon 5. Those royalties ain't nothin' to sneeze at folks… New beard oil and bifocals for everyone!
Team: Adam
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Hannah Huston
Miss Huston, as her pre-schoolers call her if they're nasty, wins without needing to technically "win," as her original song is easily the best of the bunch (duh, Pharrell produced it). It will chart, it will do well, and in a few years it may even be remembered. This nominally should give her an edge over Alisan, but she's clearly uncomfortable with the rhythm and cadence of her duet with Pharrell, taking us back to an even playing field. Both women have what it takes, but it's Hannah who's shown consistent growth and improvement week over week. Her vocals have grown with her confidence, just like her hair volume. It's still TBD on whether people vote on merit (j/k, they never do), but maybe she doesn't have to go back to grading coloring books quite yet.
Team: Pharrell
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Alisan Porter
Yes, she's been the (rather exasperating) frontrunner all season. But she's honestly deserved it. And I think this scene sums up the reasons why quite nicely…
Team: Christina
What do you think of the Final Four? Do you agree with the Rankling? And who will you be voting for?